optimisticpsychologist.com

(In honor of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s birthday, here is a remarkable speech he delivered to a group of junior high school students on October 26, 1967, six months before his death.)

What Is Your Life’s Blueprint?

I want to ask you a question, and that is: What is your life’s blueprint?

Whenever a building is constructed, you usually have an architect who draws a blueprint, and that blueprint serves as the pattern, as the guide, and a building is not well erected without a good, solid blueprint.

Now each of you is in the process of building the structure of your lives, and the question is whether you have a proper, a solid and a sound blueprint.

I want to suggest some of the things that should begin your life’s blueprint. Number one in your life’s blueprint, should be a deep belief in your own dignity, your worth and your own somebodiness. Don’t allow anybody to make you fell that you’re nobody. Always feel that you count. Always feel that you have worth, and always feel that your life has ultimate significance.

Secondly, in your life’s blueprint you must have as the basic principle the determination to achieve excellence in your various fields of endeavor. You’re going to be deciding as the days, as the years unfold what you will do in life — what your life’s work will be. Set out to do it well.

And I say to you, my young friends, doors are opening to you–doors of opportunities that were not open to your mothers and your fathers — and the great challenge facing you is to be ready to face these doors as they open.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, the great essayist, said in a lecture in 1871, “If a man can write a better book or preach a better sermon or make a better mousetrap than his neighbor, even if he builds his house in the woods, the world will make a beaten path to his door.”

This hasn’t always been true — but it will become increasingly true, and so I would urge you to study hard, to burn the midnight oil; I would say to you, don’t drop out of school. I understand all the sociological reasons, but I urge you that in spite of your economic plight, in spite of the situation that you’re forced to live in — stay in school.

And when you discover what you will be in your life, set out to do it as if God Almighty called you at this particular moment in history to do it. Don’t just set out to do a good job. Set out to do such a good job that the living, the dead or the unborn couldn’t do it any better.

If it falls your lot to be a street sweeper…

• sweep streets like Michelangelo painted pictures
• sweep streets like Beethoven composed music
• sweep streets like Leontyne Price sings before the Metropolitan Opera
• sweep streets like Shakespeare wrote poetry.

Sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will have to pause and say: Here lived a great street sweeper who swept his job well. If you can’t be a pine at the top of the hill, be a shrub in the valley. Be be the best little shrub on the side of the hill.

Be a bush if you can’t be a tree. If you can’t be a highway, just be a trail. If you can’t be a sun, be a star. For it isn’t by size that you win or fail. Be the best of whatever you are.

It was 1972, and I was hitchhiking from Athens, Ohio to Pittsburgh for the weekend. Back then hitchhiking was somewhat common (although you did not tell your parents). Driving straight through: a four-hour trip.  Hitchhiking: turned out to be a six-hour journey. While most of the trip has long ago faded into the memory bank, there was one driver that is truly unforgettable.

He was driving an old (even old for back then) sports car. Believe it was an MG. Two-seater. Of the 6-hour trip, the total time in his car was about one hour. In order to stay warm along the highway until a ride appeared, I had a bottle of cola, but had replaced the soft drink with scotch. We finished it pretty quickly.

Initially there was small talk. “Where go going?”  “What’s in Pittsburgh?”  “What do you think of the war?” (Vietnam was quite controversial at that time). “Isn’t the government all messed up?”  “Aren’t all those politicians idiots?”

Then, there was silence. After about 30 minutes, he said something that has stayed with me for 40 years. It seemed to come from nowhere…

“You know, we might eventually run out of clean air, and we might eventually run out of clean water, but we will never run out of assholes.”

Profound? Prophetic? Cynical? Who knows? But, it still resonates in an extremely important way.

Think about the people in your life: family, friends, business associates, neighbors, and community members. Think about the amount of time you spend with them? How would you rate those experiences?

Think about the air you breathe.  If it is clean, you breathe in knowing that the oxygen is keeping you healthy and your organs strong. Breathe in bad air, and all of your organs will be negatively impacted. Eventually, you will become poisoned, sick and die.

Other people have the same impact. Going through life with many assholes around will eventually make you sick. You become negative, duplicitous and unpleasant. At work, you become unproductive, inefficient and a complainer. Your face reflects you’re inside emotions: a scowl or frown publicizes your mood. It’s a negative cycle; you tend to attract more like-minded people into your life. Yuk!

On the other hand, hanging around with healthy people maintains and fosters your health. You are positive, energizing, and friendly. You are open to new ideas and experiences. You are fun and have fun. A smile advertises your mood, which serves as a magnet in attracting other positive people. You laugh a lot and loudly. It becomes infectious.

The question, of course, is how you rate the quality of your relationships and interactions. Are you surrounded by mostly positive or negative people? Are you breathing in “clean or dirty air”? Do you reflect a healthy, positive person with a solid core of enthusiasm, passion, curiosity and love?

Questions

1. When you look in the mirror, does the reflection cause you to smile or frown at what you see and feel?
2. How can you maximize the amount of time you have with positive people?
3. If there are negative people in your life, how can you reduce the amount of interaction or impact it is having on you?

“Surround yourself with happy faces: people who are interested in growing and enjoying.”

Wayne Dyer

Less is more – keep it simple.

It was reported that the last words of Steve Jobs were: “OH WOW, OH WOW, OH WOW”. What was he thinking? Was he reflecting on his amazing life? Was he getting a glimpse of his future “after-life”? Did he have another brilliant idea?

Ernest Hemingway once wrote, “For Sale: baby shoes, never worn.” That simple six-word “story” initiated many to try to create a six-word expression to describe their life.

Author Larry Smith has written several books with the theme of Six-Word Memoirs: encouraging people to try to summarize their life experience in 6 words.

The concept continues to generate enthusiasm and intrigue. Emily Lloyd is a librarian Eden Prairie, Minnesota. She hopes that every resident of Minneapolis give it a try. Examples that have been submitted can be found at:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/6wordstwincities/page33/

I recently purchased a Life is Good t-shirt. Without even realizing it, in small font, written around the logo, are the words: “Simplicity, humility, and a sense of humor”. (OK, 7 words, but the point is still there.)

Additional examples of six word expressions:

• Still lost on road less traveled.
• Being me part-time doesn’t work.
• Go be illuminated by a streetlight.
• I will try harder for me.
• Mostly late, but I get there.
• Living my gratitude, embracing the challenge.
• Just know that you are loved.
• I smile. I laugh. I cry.
• Humming to the tune of creation.

Question

So, if you were to summarize your life in a 6 word expression, what would it be???

“Always be grateful, always thank God.”

At one time, John Kralik was a successful lawyer. Like many people, he started to experience some significant challenges in his life: emotional, family relationships, financial. Rather than focus on his troubles and all the things he did not have in his life, Kralik decided to focus on the things he did have. He began to feel grateful for the things he had, not resentment for the things he did not.

As a result of this shift in perspective, Kralik started writing thank you notes to people. It started with Christmas gifts, but quickly moved to other people for virtually any reason possible. He wrote short, hand-written notes: not telephone calls, emails, texts, or posts on Facebook. The results: remarkable.

Kralik documents his story on the inspiring book 365 Thank Yous: The Year a Simple Act of Daily Gratitude Changed My Life.

His advice on writing thank you notes:

1. Focus on the other person.
2. Think beyond material gifts. It could have been as simple as a smile, a helping hand, or encouraging word
3. Write a sentence or two explaining how the gift is changing or simply improving your life.
4. Write something about how you received value out of the gift, if only by a smile or donating it to charity.
5. Think of ways you failed to thank the person in the past and remind them how important they are in your life.
6. Don’t try to be especially funny or cure – it may distract from the message.
7. Keep the thank you short and simple, but in your own words.
8. When in doubt, write a thank you.

Questions

• Who would be the first 10 people you would write a note to?
• Who does the simple things for you that typically go unmentioned?
• When can you create 15 minutes to write one note each day?

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

Mark Twain

One simple word. Thanks. So simple, and yet, so powerful.

Thanks.

As in giving thanks for all the remarkable things in life…

• Sunrise
• Sunset
• Clean air to breathe
• Rain to make the grass grow, flowers to bloom, and water to drink
• Family
• Friends
• A smile

Thank you.

It is remarkable how powerful saying “thank youâ€? is in virtually all relationships…

• For being a friend
• For your kindness and love
• For being you
• For those kind word
• For calling with a warm greeting
• For doing the laundry

Gratitude.

In many ways, gratitude is the magic elixir many are seeking. It has remarkable benefits, to the giver and receiver. Developing an attitude of gratitude has been connected to a myriad of benefits:

• Improved physical, mental and emotional health
• Reduced stress, anxiety and sadness
• Greater satisfaction with life and enhanced relationships
• Higher levels of self-esteem and feelings of well being
• Higher levels of happiness
• Greater sense of purpose and mission
• Better coping methods
• Better sleep, relaxation and coping mechanisms

Research Findings

Robert Emmons, of the University of California, Davis, has conducted a good deal of scientific research on gratitude. A recent study focused on people keeping a “gratitude journal�.

Three groups were established. One group kept a gratitude journal – a daily list of positive events and things they were grateful and thankful for. One group recorded daily hassles. The third group wrote neutral events.

The results. The gratitude group exercised more regularly, had fewer physical health symptoms, felt better about their lives, and was more optimistic about the upcoming week.  The gratitude group also enjoyed higher levels of alertness and energy compared with the others.

Homework: Start keeping a gratitude journal. Nothing fancy. A piece of paper will work fine. Each day, write down 1-2 things that make you feel grateful. There is something powerful about writing these out, not just saying them out loud.

Questions

1. What is on your top 10 list of things to be grateful for?
2. How often do you give thanks for the things in your life?
3. How can you begin to incorporate gratitude into your daily life?

“I can no other answer make, but, thanks, and thanks.�

William Shakespeare